So...I'm bored. What's new, right? Why is it that I get bored so easily? Even when I am busy I am bored. I think that it must have something to do with being part of this instant gratification society that I live in. I get bored with work, I get bored with home, I get bored with routine...ahhh...routine...how I love it so...yet at the same time...bored.
What can I do to change that? I have no clue whatsoever. Usually when I get bored, I tend to have a large life change heading my way...first job out of college...soooooo boring...did it for 2 years then I got married and moved to Boston. Lived in Boston...liked it at first...then didn't like all the traffic...all the people...and the constant barrage of "stuff." Our apartment flooded, I quit my job in Boston and we moved back to Maine.
Now, this whole thing about being bored, doesn't mean that I am not happy. I am, probably, the happiest I have ever been in my life. But, I don't feel like things are going the way I want them to go. This summer I had a great garden, but was unable to put away ANY of it. Perhaps I need to stop eating so much? I had these great intentions...didn't get anywhere though. I want to be at home cooking and cleaning. I want to learn to knit something other then a rectangular *scarf, towel, washcloth, whatever else is square or rectangular* I bought a sewing machine, and have sewed ONE thing, a lovely bag to put my knitting stuff in. OK, so the bag isn't THAT lovely, but I am happy with it :-) I want to learn to sew clothes...well...I used to know how...but now...not so much.
I think part of my problem is the house not being done - will it ever be done? My sister-in-law is great, "look at how much you HAVE finished!" Yes...but really...is that good enough? Of course not. I always feel like my life is on hold while I am finishing up some other project. How can I get out of that? How can I relax enough to just live without worrying about every other little thing that isn't done? Well, the short answer is I can't. I don't think it is possible for me to relax. I seriously need to go on some type of medication because my anxiety is up to HERE. You can pretend that you just saw my hand fly straight above my head :-)
What is the next step then? Do I just continue as is, days just passing me by? Any suggestions on staying motivated? On not letting myself get bored? It isn't that I have a lack of stuff to do...maybe the problem is that I have SO much stuff to do, that instead of doing it, I just watch it pile and make excuses as to why it can't be done....yeah...it is probably the latter :-)
OK, so this post was a big jumbled mess...sorry...just had to get some thoughts out :-) I'm hoping that once I get out of this funk I can post something a little more meaningful!
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1 comment:
oh but these thoughts ARE meaningful! hmmm....no real advice other than EACH and every moment is a gift and sometimes it's difficult to relish the little moments when we are always striving for the big life moments....however life truly is in the small moments that we overlook so frequently.......reaching contentment in the every day and not feeling the need to constantly achieve...it's a difficult journey but satisfying all the same....
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