Thursday, August 23, 2007

giving concerns to God

Sometimes I feel like I can do everything on my own...well those are the times when everything is going according to MY plan. But, what about God's plan? I find that a lot of the time I tend to just lose myself in God's word, pray a lot, and those are actually the times that everything seems to be going MY way. It isn't though, it's God's way.

The problem? I get too comfortable. I start thinking about God less and what I want more, and then what happens? I get stressed out and feel like I have lost control of my life, again. I can't seem to get it through my head that I was never in control of my life. I need to just sit back and let God work, because if I do fight him, it always ends up causing more pain.

How do you know what God's plan is? I know that I have written a lot about prayer and reading my Bible, but I think that is just the tip. How do I trust God more and trust me less? Maybe when I am reading the Bible and praying, I'm not doing it the right way. I can't figure it out. All I know is that I am a planner, and sometimes I wish God would fill me in on what is going on in the next couple of months, so I am not always worrying about the next thing. That probably makes no sense at all.

I'm still having trouble praying, and that is probably why I continue to struggle. I have such great intentions. Why does something always come up? Or why does nothing but laziness come up? I'm not strong enough. I need His help. Will I always struggle? Even if I am doing everything I think I should be doing? Will it be enough?

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